The Nature...

Still, by all means, the most beautiful..

The "Experience Machine"...

"Suppose there were a machine that would give you any experience you desire. Super duper neuropsychologists could stimulate your brain so that you would think and feel you were writing a great novel, or making a friend, or reading an interesting book. All the time, you would be floating in a tank, with electrodes attached to your brain. Should you plug into this machine for life, preprogramming your life experiences? If you are worried about missing out on desirable experiences, we can suppose that businesses and enterprises have researched thoroughly, the lives of many others. You can pick and choose from their large library or smorgasbord of such experiences, selecting your life's experiences for, say, the next two years. Of course while in the tank you won't know that you are in there; you'll think that it's all actually happening. Others can also plug in to have experiences they want, so there's no need to stay unplugged to serve them."

(Robert Nozick, in J. Glover, ed., Utilitarianism and Its Critics, p.58)

The lecturer's question was, "Do you hook up?"

I straightaway went "No, crazy if I would like to.."(actually it's even a little crazy already that I typed what's in my lecture notes in this blog!) but here's another thought.. isn't it all just about human thoughts? it's like... most of the time, we even choose to see only what we love to see.. and we don't see what we don't feel like seeing even if it's as big as an elephant right in front of our very eyes.. do we not do that sometimes??

and i'm just bored... ciao =P

On bad days...

I twist and turn on my bed, instead of sleeping tightly, some things come across and scare the hell out of me.. these 3 months have been the fastest so far, with a fine repetition each and every single day and night, I almost give up..

Occasionally too I type for hours, I delete, I type again.. the words on screen seem so real yet incorrect.. the words from my mouth don’t sound any better.. try to predict sometimes, I see nothing.. i think I’m in a very serious situation, like on the brink of a big failure yet I don’t even see why I would fail myself to that extent..

I soundly wish to have another version of life to move into and disappear, start all over where nobody doesn’t even know or judge me.. I just soundly wish there’d be no time when I think I have been living in a wrong life..

My 22nd...

I am very grateful for my 22^nd..

For I have been living a glowing life, for I always have good and supportive people around me, for I have always been given blesses and gifts and for my birthday always be remembered.. =)

Birthday, to me, is not just like another day.. it is always special in its way.. like, I get to know that I’m always remembered, even though it’s just once a year thing.. I get calls, smses, cards, emails etc wishing me a happy day.. I get to have the reason to gather and have a full of laugh dinner with the people that I love.. I even get wonderful presents.. It’s really not just another day..

I browsed through my 21^st which I spent in denmark.. I couldn’t help but smile when I reminisced, i thought I would end up spending my birthday alone at that time cos nobody was supposed to know, yet some people just knew and celebrated for me.. simple yet unforgettable..

This year, it’s as special, I spent my early birthday dinner at rendezvous hotel (the padang food was very nice!) with my brother, cousin, and some friends.. and I got this Birthday “Surprise” from trio “Lydia Lysia Evan” at night… every year somehow I always knew about the surprises yet I’m still as happy to get the surprise.. hmm.. and on the day itself, I got a small celebration at my beloved engineering faculty (yes, I have classes on my birthday) from some friends.. and the night of my birthday, I have a Korean dinner with chengto.. Oh and thanks for alllll the people who remembered...

Pictures:

@ Rendezvous Restaurant...

The "birthday surprise" @ PGP... with super cute CUP-CAKES!

Lydia Lysia Diah (it rhymes!) + Evan...

@ Techno Edge Engineering Faculty

Togi, our favourite Korean Restaurant

I realized that I did give credits to the people who gave me gifts on my 21st.. i would do the same thing this time.. =P.. as usual, my bag supplier (a.k.a BROTHER) got me a Fendi Baguette which i've been wanting lately.. chengto got me a rose gold plating watch which, again, i've been wanting lately.. my belt supplier, cousin JK, this year made a difference by giving me a Coach pouch, which i've been liking lately as well (now, i'm feeling bad) and the Zara voucher and loccitane set were from fenny and pegrina.. nice of them, i've got to shop soon then.. =P

Guolong gave me a bear, which is now in Lydia's room (long story) so i can't take the picture.. hmm.. and the 501 must visit destination book was from Sri Dj.. when i unwrapped it, i straightaway went to European& Middle East section.. I was like "argh, i should have gone here.. or... there.. or there.. there.. there!" or better one "yes, luckily, i went there.. apparently it's one of the 501 must-visit places"..

And btw.. have i mentioned that i have these two bitches in my life? both with initial S (Sri who forgot to remove price tag on my 21st gift n Suai who didnt even remember my 21st)? well, basically today i got this call from PGP management saying that there's a package for me.. i went there and right away recognized those fat handwriting, right away knew it's something slutty too inside.. (La Senza ppl! and it's from those two..i can even imagine their evil smiling now) opened it, turned out, the thing was even sluttier than i thought.. with a Merry Christmas card, how nice people!! a MERRY CHRISTMAS card! (see what u get when u know ur friends for a long time) with a small fat handwriting at the side saying "this is unavoidable, we forgot to buy u a birthday card.."

and now I want to depressingly say something out loud ......
" I am OLDDDD!!!"

Ciao

One evening in Paris...

Andreas, Sarah and I were walking around Quartier Latin, looking for a nice place to sit and drink.. We found this place called Beamish, they even had outdoor seats and beer promotion.. perfect it was.. we sat, ordered some drink and started to chat.. Andreas started to talk about how he honestly didn’t think he would still be in touch with any of us because it simply just couldn’t be possible, very honest yet can’t be more correct, I agreed with him.. sarah talked about how much she’d really love to stay in france because she spoke the language fluently after being there for one year.. and there I was, talking about how afraid I was to go back to reality..

It was predictable, it was foreseen yet I have and still enjoy the fantasy sometimes..

Today's dinner simply gave me back the feel.. with a bunch of nice people, complete home-cooked meal, wine and jazz.. fantasy, eventually, is heartbreaking..

Oh btw, A Very Happy birthday to Marlinnn!! Ciao.. =P

If only people know...

I missed one of my ex bosses, he suddenly just made sense..

His favorite saying was "your monkey is your monkey and therefore, my monkey is my monkey!!!"

Jumping to the next step is harder than ever...

Some choose to be ignorant for a little while.. some bring it closer and face it as if there's no tomorrow.. some lose directions and find themselves have nothing to grasp.. whichever way, it doesn't seem to be the time to feel fairly peaceful or freer than before...

There's nothing u can do that can't be done.. u've just got to be brave...

The Cycle...

Are u afraid of repetition? Are u afraid of feeling bored about the things u like at the moment?

I am very certain everybody has heard about how high the divorce rate has been recently.. I mean, it was just yesterday when I heard that a friend’s friend was filing a divorce and that wasn’t even the first time.. I couldn’t help but wonder.. was it because of the non-existence of the novelty that once the couple had? or, people nowadays just couldn’t afford to take the time to solve problems, they gave it up instead? or, people are really in need of breaking the cycle, the repetition in life?

Whatever questions came to my mind.. unfortunately, the answers to myself seemed to be a YES.. that was upsetting..

Let’s take a very simple example of ourselves.. certainly there should be a time when u feel that u really need to start studying again or quit working, switch jobs, get out the city or worse, break up with ur current girl/boyfriend.. i’m expecting u to nod when u read this.. sorry to say that everybody does that, including myself at times.. we’d say out loud to the world that we’re just bored!!

I remember I was so happy being admitted to NUS.. so glad to go to lectures in the first week of school.. and BANG! On the fourth week, I found myself skipping classes, overslept and did all those sinful stuffs, until only god-knows-when.. I just wasn’t that excited anymore.. there’s no more engine to drive me “alive”..

Somebody told me, if we really think abt it.. actually there’s something special about being bored.. if in the first place u never have that thing u’re bored of, how on earth will ever be bored of it? and if u come to lose it, u may want it back again, not so soon but u may one day.. more often than not, we just don’t realize that we’re sick of the thing we once wanted so badly.. remember how cruel life was when u’re unemployed? And how blissful life was when u got ur first job interview? but how bored u are now in the office complaining at the same time? We simply take many many things for granted..

I guess he’s true.. it may be harder to see things that way.. but I say it is something worth looking at..

Till then.. Ciao.. =)

New Year's Resolutions...

Well, it’s that time of a new year start again to create the magic list.. the commitment or “life projects” to be fulfilled.. I even browsed back to my last year’s list and felt so impressed that I actually did fulfill almost perfectly.. Look, to me there’s no right or wrong in creating the list.. as long as it’s socially responsible, not too selfish and advantageous.. (ambiguous? but I hope u get what I mean =P).. so, to cut it short.. I do have some thoughts of the important things to be done this year.. some of which I’d share.. =)

1. Be environmentally responsible (including eat less meat)..
2. Learn something new
3. Help others
4. Get organized
5. Enjoy life more
6. Be hardworking
7. Exercise regularly
8. Continue to learn how to cook
9. Save some money (hopefully)
10. Tame the bulge

I actually just wish to be resolved to meet most of my goals.. for instance, I hope I’d not again fall into i'll-start-to-jog-next-month or i'll-start-my-diet-next-monday traps.. In other words, I can’t leave my time-frame too wide open.. maybe I should start setting the dates for mini-goals.. hmmm.. sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?

150 watches, 150 sets of stationaries, game gifts etc to wrap.. what a long day..

What a big relief! (dinner after gracehaven new year's celebration).. no photography and videography allowed there so i've got zilch of the party..

New Year's Eve

The chefs always have the luxury to take pictures together =P

All of us in 2008

The most effective way to get everybody to finish the leftover.. =P

Anyways, in this new year, 2008.. I’d really love to wish everybody in good health and may everybody be blessed with abundant joys and happiness.. =)

Till then, Ciao… =)

Holiday...

The long awaited and “well-deserved” break is finally here?? Believe me, some nasty people don’t really think we deserve this holiday!!!

It’s been more than 2 weeks since my very last day of exam and what have been happening…??
- Final Year Project (FYP), which doesn’t seem to go that smooth, changes here and there, manufacturing faulty… the list goes on and on..
- Workshops by the Office of Student Affairs, which have taken up most of my time too.. all of them were very inspiring though..
- Magical Workshops 4, the christmas party for the physically disabled @ Spore Cheshire Home like usual.. and additional outing @ Vivocity this year was a success.. it really brought smiles to our clients’ faces, literally..
- Gracehaven Salvation Army New Year’s Celebration.. this has been cool so far, did huge shopping starting from buying 150 watches, 90 sets of stationeries, game gifts, foods etc etc etc.. those are all for the orphanage, juvenile delinquents, those whose parents are imprisoned and so on.. this is my first voluntary activity without registering my name under any NUS Clubs, in other words we’ll do everything by ourselves.. the kind plan came from a bunch of friends and knowing that things have been smooth so far is really amazing.. the fund raise is surprisingly huge too.. I’m just so glad to have known many generous people who have big heart.. hehe.. at the end of the day, the talking is just the talking.. what matters is the doing.. =P any kind souls who want to donate, please contact me.. haha.. (I’m serious though) =P
- Christmas Celebration.. the first one was in Marlin’s.. that was great.. good friends, funny games and good food.. Christmas Eve yesterday was well spent too.. had dinner @Oasis in Hyatt and caught the movie I am Legend afterwards..
- Some unnecessary things did happen too.. such as me falling down in a very unmannered way while walking on slippery floor (all bcos of FYP) passing through a bunch of engineering fellows who were discussing and being free-entertained by me.. had a very bad headache which was extremely weird since I didn’t remember sth bad happened to my head.. weird weird weird!

Well, that pretty much sum up what I’ve done in the past 2 weeks or so.. strange because it feels so packed.. usually during holiday, I was completely bumming around lazily doing unproductive stuffs, eating and things like that.. apparently at one point in ur life, u don’t even have life anymore.. =P eh, I mean, u don’t even have a break (that u actually deserve)… but I’m really happy to be able to start my voluntary activities again.. not very happy to do fyp of course, but I have to, so it’s ok.. life goes on.. =P

Anyways, some pictures of late..

Christmas Party @Sherwood Tower by Marlin

Three of us, Lysia, Lydia and I =)

Vivocity Outing by NUS Rotaract Club

Dinner @Oasis, Hyatt

Last but not least, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year..!!

Ciao.. =)