On bad days...

I twist and turn on my bed, instead of sleeping tightly, some things come across and scare the hell out of me.. these 3 months have been the fastest so far, with a fine repetition each and every single day and night, I almost give up..

Occasionally too I type for hours, I delete, I type again.. the words on screen seem so real yet incorrect.. the words from my mouth don’t sound any better.. try to predict sometimes, I see nothing.. i think I’m in a very serious situation, like on the brink of a big failure yet I don’t even see why I would fail myself to that extent..

I soundly wish to have another version of life to move into and disappear, start all over where nobody doesn’t even know or judge me.. I just soundly wish there’d be no time when I think I have been living in a wrong life..

My 22nd...

I am very grateful for my 22^nd..

For I have been living a glowing life, for I always have good and supportive people around me, for I have always been given blesses and gifts and for my birthday always be remembered.. =)

Birthday, to me, is not just like another day.. it is always special in its way.. like, I get to know that I’m always remembered, even though it’s just once a year thing.. I get calls, smses, cards, emails etc wishing me a happy day.. I get to have the reason to gather and have a full of laugh dinner with the people that I love.. I even get wonderful presents.. It’s really not just another day..

I browsed through my 21^st which I spent in denmark.. I couldn’t help but smile when I reminisced, i thought I would end up spending my birthday alone at that time cos nobody was supposed to know, yet some people just knew and celebrated for me.. simple yet unforgettable..

This year, it’s as special, I spent my early birthday dinner at rendezvous hotel (the padang food was very nice!) with my brother, cousin, and some friends.. and I got this Birthday “Surprise” from trio “Lydia Lysia Evan” at night… every year somehow I always knew about the surprises yet I’m still as happy to get the surprise.. hmm.. and on the day itself, I got a small celebration at my beloved engineering faculty (yes, I have classes on my birthday) from some friends.. and the night of my birthday, I have a Korean dinner with chengto.. Oh and thanks for alllll the people who remembered...

Pictures:

@ Rendezvous Restaurant...

The "birthday surprise" @ PGP... with super cute CUP-CAKES!

Lydia Lysia Diah (it rhymes!) + Evan...

@ Techno Edge Engineering Faculty

Togi, our favourite Korean Restaurant

I realized that I did give credits to the people who gave me gifts on my 21st.. i would do the same thing this time.. =P.. as usual, my bag supplier (a.k.a BROTHER) got me a Fendi Baguette which i've been wanting lately.. chengto got me a rose gold plating watch which, again, i've been wanting lately.. my belt supplier, cousin JK, this year made a difference by giving me a Coach pouch, which i've been liking lately as well (now, i'm feeling bad) and the Zara voucher and loccitane set were from fenny and pegrina.. nice of them, i've got to shop soon then.. =P

Guolong gave me a bear, which is now in Lydia's room (long story) so i can't take the picture.. hmm.. and the 501 must visit destination book was from Sri Dj.. when i unwrapped it, i straightaway went to European& Middle East section.. I was like "argh, i should have gone here.. or... there.. or there.. there.. there!" or better one "yes, luckily, i went there.. apparently it's one of the 501 must-visit places"..

And btw.. have i mentioned that i have these two bitches in my life? both with initial S (Sri who forgot to remove price tag on my 21st gift n Suai who didnt even remember my 21st)? well, basically today i got this call from PGP management saying that there's a package for me.. i went there and right away recognized those fat handwriting, right away knew it's something slutty too inside.. (La Senza ppl! and it's from those two..i can even imagine their evil smiling now) opened it, turned out, the thing was even sluttier than i thought.. with a Merry Christmas card, how nice people!! a MERRY CHRISTMAS card! (see what u get when u know ur friends for a long time) with a small fat handwriting at the side saying "this is unavoidable, we forgot to buy u a birthday card.."

and now I want to depressingly say something out loud ......
" I am OLDDDD!!!"

Ciao

One evening in Paris...

Andreas, Sarah and I were walking around Quartier Latin, looking for a nice place to sit and drink.. We found this place called Beamish, they even had outdoor seats and beer promotion.. perfect it was.. we sat, ordered some drink and started to chat.. Andreas started to talk about how he honestly didn’t think he would still be in touch with any of us because it simply just couldn’t be possible, very honest yet can’t be more correct, I agreed with him.. sarah talked about how much she’d really love to stay in france because she spoke the language fluently after being there for one year.. and there I was, talking about how afraid I was to go back to reality..

It was predictable, it was foreseen yet I have and still enjoy the fantasy sometimes..

Today's dinner simply gave me back the feel.. with a bunch of nice people, complete home-cooked meal, wine and jazz.. fantasy, eventually, is heartbreaking..

Oh btw, A Very Happy birthday to Marlinnn!! Ciao.. =P

If only people know...

I missed one of my ex bosses, he suddenly just made sense..

His favorite saying was "your monkey is your monkey and therefore, my monkey is my monkey!!!"